So they call me "Cherry Pie"

This Blog was made to prove a point, but now that I have proved it. Lets do this!

Friday, December 30, 2005

New Year's Party Safety

Under Texas law, bars, restaurants, and other commercial vendors must refuse alcohol to obviously intoxicated patrons who create a danger to themselves or others. A commercial vendor that fails to do this could be responsible for harm to the drunk driver or innocent third parties.

But who is to blame when a guest drinks too much at a friend's party and then causes an accident on the way home? According to the Texas Supreme Court, the answer is: the drunk driver. Attorney Tim Powers takes a look at party host responsibilities for New Year's Eve.

A party host is NOT responsible for accidents caused by guests who drink at their party. The court has declined to hold a social host responsible for serving intoxicated adults, guests between the ages of 18 and 20, and even guests under 18. Rationale: the average party host is not as capable of monitoring his or her guests' alcohol consumption as people in the business of selling alcohol.

A host can be responsible for accidents caused by guests if a special relationship exists that allows the host to control the guests' behavior (like an employer and employee). The easiest way to avoid ever having to think about this issue is to put the drunken guests in a cab!

For more legal information, go to TimPowers.com.

12 ways to fight soaring heating bills

Rising prices for heating oil and natural gas could mean big bills this winter. Here are some things you can do to cut your costs.

The unrelenting rise in oil and natural gas prices is about to run headlong into the steady approach of winter. Oil prices have roared to fresh record highs each time the U.S. government reported another fall in heating fuel stocks ahead of winter. World prices have surged on fears that the United States is running out of time to build winter fuel supplies.

The Energy Information Administration forecasts that households in the Midwest could spend 71% more this winter for natural gas and 40% more for propane than last winter; those in the Northeast that use heating oil could spend 33% more; and Southern households could see a 17% rise in their electricity bills. Nationwide, we’ll see an overall increase of 24% in winter heat bills, the EIA forecasts.

The EIA is assuming typical winter weather, but the big forecasters call for a colder than normal season, especially east of the Mississippi.

What to do? Well, don’t simply grit your teeth and wait for a big bill.

Here are more than a dozen simple steps you can take to slash your home’s heating bill. Seven steps cost nothing. Eight more cost under $100. Combine them, and you can often expect to save 20% -- and possibly much, much more -- on your home heating bill this winter. And some new federal tax breaks even sweeten the opportunity.

Grab that free, low-hanging fruit
First, the freebies. These strategies may sound simplistic, but they work well:

Turn down the thermostat. “The rule of thumb is that you can save about 3% on your heating bill for every degree that you set back your thermostat” full-time, says Bill Prindle, deputy director for the nonprofit American Council for an Energy-Efficient Economy (ACEEE). Turn down the thermostat 10 degrees when you go to work, and again when you go to bed -- a total of 16 hours a day -- and you can save about 14% on your heating bill, says Prindle.
Use fans wisely. In just one hour, a hard-working bathroom or kitchen fan can expel a houseful of warm air, according to the Department of Energy. Turn them off as soon as they’ve done their job.
Keep the fireplace damper closed. Heat rises, and an open damper is like a hole in the roof. Also, limit use of the fireplace, since fires actually suck heat from a room, says Harvey Sachs, director of ACEEE’s buildings program. Close off seldom-used rooms. And shut the vents inside.
Turn down the water heater. Lowering the temperature of water in the water heater to 115-120 degrees reduces power use often without a noticeable difference to the user, says Prindle.
Keep heating vents clear. Vents blocked by rugs and furniture prevent heated air from circulating efficiently.
Use curtains. Opening curtains and shades on south-facing windows during the day allows solar radiation to warm a living space; closing all curtains at night helps retard the escape of that heat.
Web sites on the topic abound, but one of the best is run by the Department of Energy.
Low-cost fixes
So you’ve put the easiest, and free, ideas to work. Now you can really make a dent in that heating bill with one cheap trip to a hardware store (Home Depot, for example, has all of the items below) and a few hours of work:

Block that leak! The small gaps surrounding windows, doors and other areas in the American house, taken together, are like a nine-square-foot hole in the wall, according to EarthWorks Group’s “30 Simple Energy Things You Can Do to Save the Earth.” Plugging them can save you up to 10% on that heating bill, and the materials will pay for themselves within a year, ACEEE says.
First, find the leaks: On a windy day, hold a lit incense stick to the most common drafty areas: chimney flashing, recessed lighting, sill plates, window and door frames, all ducts and flues and electrical outlets.

Buy door sweeps ($3-$10) to close spaces under exterior doors, and caulk ($2-$5 per roll, plus a $10 caulk gun) or tacky rope caulk to block those drafty spots around window frames. Apply weatherstripping ($3-$6 for up to 17 feet) to moveable joints. Outlet gaskets ($10 for 10) can easily be installed in electrical outlets in a home’s outer walls, where cold air often enters.

Keep your ducts in a row. A home that uses ductwork to move heated air can lose up to 60% of that air before it reaches the vents if the ducts are poorly connected, not well insulated and travel through unheated spaces such as the attic or crawlspace, says the government. “If you are a halfway savvy do-it-yourselfer, and your ductwork and heating and air-conditioning equipment are in the attic, you can do an awful lot to fix your system, at low cost,” says Sachs.
First, look for obvious places in the attic, basement or in crawlspaces where ducts have become disconnected. Reconnect them, and fix places where pipes are pinched, which impedes flow of heated air to the house, says the Department of Energy’s Ryan.

Fix remaining gaps with tape, but don’t use traditional duct tape, which deteriorates; instead, use metal-backed tape ($6-$10 per roll) or aerosol sealant. Where possible, wrap the ducts’ exterior with special duct insulation ($8-$12 for 15 feet). Though the cost will be substantially more, it’s a good idea to get a professional to help insulate ducts when electrical wires or lighting fixtures are nearby.

Swaddle water heater and pipes. Unless you’ve got a newer water heater that already has built-in insulation, covering your water heater with an insulated “jacket” ($17-$20) will keep costs down, especially if your heater is in an unheated place like a garage. Also, wrap water pipes ($1-$5 per 5-foot section) when possible, especially when they run through uninsulated areas.
Winterize windows. If you can’t afford storm windows, put plastic film on those windows ($6 covers three windows) where a clear view isn’t crucial, which will curb drafts and keep windows from rattling.
Buy a low-flow showerhead. A water-efficient showerhead (often less than $20) can use 25% to 50% less hot water, saving both on water and power bills, with little to no reduction in user satisfaction, says Prindle.
Buy a smart thermostat. If you’re the kind of person who forgets to turn the temperature down at night and before work, but who doesn’t mind programming things like the TV remote control, a “smart” thermostat ($50-$100) can be set to change the temperature for you.
Keep your furnace in shape. “It’s amazing how often a heating or air conditioning unit stops working because a $3 or $15 air filter is clogged,” says Sachs. Replace the air filter ($4-$16) according to manufacturer’s directions and your heating system will operate more efficiently.
Oil-fired boilers should be cleaned and tuned annually, and gas systems, every two years ($100-$125). By maintaining your heating unit, you can save between 3% and 10% on heating bills, says ACEEE.

Look for other insulation opportunities. Some well-placed insulation, especially in the attic of older homes, can save a bundle ($7-$16, in rolls from 22-32 feet, depending on insulation value).

First, however, Sachs recommends going into the attic and looking for black-stained areas on the edges of the fiberglass. That’s dust, and it shows where air is flowing up out of the living space. Sealing that area first will do more good than simply piling on more insulation.

By following all of the aforementioned strategies, the owner of an older home can likely save much more than 20% on heating bills, he says.

Thinking big
So you’ve spent the minimum and will now save a noticeable chunk of money. What else can you do in the future? Replace appliances, heating units, light fixtures and bulbs with high-efficiency replacements.

It costs money to save money, however. While an adequate vinyl window might cost $100-$150, a double-paned window with a low e-rating (that’s a good thing) can cost $50-$100 more, says Nevil Eastwood, director of construction and environmental resources for Habitat for Humanity International in Georgia. “That adds up, when you’ve got 15 windows in your house,” Eastwood acknowledges.

Many experts therefore recommend buying high-efficiency windows and appliances as their predecessors wear out and you need to replace them anyway. Over time, the extra cost is recouped in improved efficiency.

“If your furnace is over 20 years old, you’re probably paying far more to use it,” says Maria Vargas, spokesperson for Energy Star, a federal government-backed program that promotes energy efficiency and that lends its name to energy-saving products. Furnaces bearing the Energy Star label are about 15% more efficient than a standard conventional model, says Vargas.

A Chicago resident might pay an Energy Star premium of $1,400 or so on an average home furnace for that area, Vargas says, but the savings pay off the extra cost in three or four years.

Many utilities offer discounts or rebates on energy-saving products. Call and ask. Loans are also sometimes available for major improvements that will incorporate energy-efficient products or to purchase a high-efficiency home.

Thank you, George W. (sort of)
The Energy Policy Act of 2005 gives most of its $14.5 billion in tax breaks over the next 10 years to businesses, but it does throw a few bones to homeowners, says CCH Inc., a provider of tax and accounting information and software.

Homeowners who make energy-efficient improvements to existing homes can qualify for a 10% tax credit, up to $500. A credit is a dollar-for-dollar reduction in taxes, compared with a deduction, which only decreases taxable income. Improvements that can qualify include adding insulation, metal roofs coated with heat-reducing pigments, and energy-efficient windows, doors and skylights (though only $200 can come from windows).

Other items that meet certain criteria qualify for the credit with specific limitations, according to CCH: Advanced main air circulating fans can earn up to a $50 credit; some natural gas, propane or oil furnace or hot water boilers are eligible for up to a $150 credit; and qualifying electric and geothermal heat pumps qualify for up to a $300 credit. The credits can be taken on 2006 and 2007 returns, but the total credits for the two years cannot exceed the $500 maximum, says CCH.

Here’s the hitch. The tax breaks don’t kick in until Jan. 1, which means consumers have to decide whether to make upgrades now, or wait and pay higher fuel prices. Prindle, ACEEE’s deputy directory, recommends this strategy: make any low-cost repairs and upgrades this fall, then invest in pricier upgrades as soon as the tax breaks kick in.

The act also gives homeowners a tax credit for 30% of the cost of buying and installing residential solar water heating and photovoltaic equipment, says CCH. The maximum credit is $2,000. Solar water heaters for swimming pools and hot tubs do not qualify. The credit, which expires at the end of 2007, also applies to homeowners who install fuel cells to supply electricity. The maximum credit is $500 for each .5 kilowatt of capacity.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

POLICE WARNING ABOUT CROOKS AND YOUR TRASH

Police are warning that the trash you throw away may be tipping off crooks as to what your family got for Christmas. Police say crooks cruise curbs, looking at the boxes people are throwing away, like TVs or stereos, then they try to steal that item from inside the house.

Here are some safety tips:

1.Cut up your boxes and put them in bins or trash bags.
2.Don't put your trash out until the day of your pickup.
3.Take photos of all your valuables, so that you could document your losses to police or your insurance company in case you're a victim of crime.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Battling Belly Fat

Dr. Joseph McWherter is a practicing doctor and surgeon in Obstetrics and Gynenocology and Medical Director of the FEM Centre & Energy Health Centre clinics in Fort Worth and Colleyville. He is also author of the book Avoiding Breast Cancer While Balancing Your Hormones. Dr. McWherter says that 'spare tire' you've been carrying around your waist may be a lot more dangerous to your health than you think. New research shows the size of your waistline is a key predictor of heart disease. Several studies conducted over the past 10 years have linked this so-called 'belly fat' to a greater risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, hypertension, breathing problems, disability, some cancers, and higher mortality rates.

Isn't all fat alike? Not according to recent research. Fat located around your mid-section is mostly VISCERAL fat, or 'VAT' FAT. Visceral fat is a type of deep fat that packs itself around internal organs. The visceral fat cells act like mini chemical factories, churning out a host of hormones and other inflammatory substances that increase our risk of heart disease, diabetes and probably some forms of cancer. A higher amount of belly fat promotes insulin resistance, which raises insulin levels. Higher insulin levels increase appetite, which increases triglycerides and causes the good HDL to go down. And all of these reactions cause blood pressure to increase. How to lose the belly fat:

1.No sweets, no wheats: Dr. McWherter says cut out the sugar and simple carbohydrates such as white bread, pasta and white rice. Avoid foods with the words enriched or white flour, glucose, fructose and corn syrup. Substitute with brown rice, fruits, veggies, fish, chicken, nuts and seeds.

2.Eat fresh and organic foods. Shop the outside aisles at the grocery store- you'll find less processed foods and foods with added sugars. products made with enriched or white flour...period!

3.Every little bit helps: The good news is that losing weight can make a huge difference- even a minimal weight loss helps lower your blood pressure and cholesterol.

4.The only proven method of weight loss is cutting calories and eating smaller portions. Dr. McWherter recommends 1500 calories per day for the average woman and 1800-2000 for the average man. (Always check with your doctor before starting any weight loss plan).

5.Get moving! The best way to stop waist expansion is through regular exercise- 30 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise (such as walking) 4-5 days a week will prevent an increase in belly fat.

For more information and additional tips, log onto www.femcentre.com.

Holiday at the Arboretum

The Dallas Arboretum once again enchants visitors with Holiday at the Arboretum. Bring your family and enjoy a variety of Yuletide festivities and merriment. Holiday at the Arboretum has something for everyone each day of the week!

The John & Kim Semyan Christmas Collection: This year the 21,000 square foot DeGolyer Estate will be filled with the precious private holiday collections of Kim & John Semyan. The Semyans are graciously sharing hundreds of their cherished, exquisite holiday figures and special event pieces including:
Early 400 Byer's Choice Carolers and several large special event pieces by Joyce Byers
Traditional holiday characters adorned with whimsical details by Lynn West
A beautiful Alice in Wonderland display and other unique pieces by Faith Wick
Distinctive and comical "mature" carolers and additional charming figures by Jacqueline Kent and many more beautiful holiday collectibles!
The Semyans' Christmas Collection will be on display in the DeGolyer Estate daily from 10am to 4pm.
Christmas Tree Maze: For the first time ever, the Dallas Arboretum presents a Christmas tree maze for children of all ages. Visitors are invited to come to the new Texas Town and weave their way through the fragrant maze made with over 100 Christmas trees. The trees used in the maze are graciously donated by Kadee Farm Choose and Cut Christmas Tree Plantation in Greenville, Texas.
Holiday Tea: The Arboretum presents Holiday Tea in the Alex Camp House, a full-served three course tea that is the equivalent of a light lunch. Guests will be served exquisite gourmet treats created especially for the holidays at 11am and 2pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays through December 28. Cost is $30.95, or $27.95 for members of the Arboretum, and includes tea, admission to the Garden and parking. Reservations are required and can be placed by calling 214-515-6512. Holiday Tea is for adults ages 13 and up.
All exhibits run through December 31. General Admission: Adults, $8. Seniors 65 and over, $7. Children, ages 3 - 12, $5. Members and children 2 and under, free. Parking, $5.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Gwen Stefani Confirms Pregnancy

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During a Florida concert Wednesday night, GWEN STEFANI confirmed reports that she is pregnant. It will be the first child for the 36-year-old singer and her husband, former BUSH frontman GAVIN ROSSDALE. The two have been married for just over three years, but have been romantically involved since 1995. Gwen is currently on tour in support of her Grammy®-nominated album, Love. Angel. Music. Baby. No word yet on when she is due.

Double-Mouthed Fish Pulled From Neb. Lake

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INCOLN, Neb. - This fish didn't have a chance. A rainbow trout pulled out of Holmes Lake last weekend had double the chance to get hooked: It had two mouths.

Clarence Olberding, 57, wasn't just telling a fisherman's fib when he called over another angler to look at the two-mouthed trout. It weighed in at about a pound.

"I reached down and grabbed it to take the hook out, and that's when I noticed that the hook was in the upper mouth and there was another jaw protruding out below," said Olberding.

He said in his 40 years of fishing, he's never seen anything like it.

Don Gabelhouse, head of the fisheries division of the Nebraska Game and Parks Commission, said a two-mouthed fish was new to him, too.

"It's probably a genetic deformity," he said. "I don't think there's anything wrong with it."

The second mouth didn't appear to be functional, Olberding said. He has plans for the fish, which don't included mounting.

"I'm going to smoke it up and eat it," he said.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Christmas Cookies!

Welcome back to Christy Rost! This morning, she'll be making a quick and simple recipe that makes a great gift: Santa Claus Cookies. You can find the recipe on our Good Day Recipe link here.

Christy is the host of Fort Worth's television cooking/lifestyle show, "Just Like Home", author of the cookbook, The Family Table, and a regular guest on the national television talk show, "At Home-Live", which reaches 40 million households. You can find Christy via her website: www.easyentertain.com.

TOYS FOR TICKETS

A local police department has a unique way for punishing traffic violators. Get a speeding ticket and, instead of paying the fine, the police are letting offenders pay their debt to society by donating toys that will be distributed to underprivileged children in the area this holiday season.

Pregnancy myths

Pregnancy myths and old wives' tales: You've heard them all. Learn what's true and what's not as we expose seven common myths

1. You can tell your baby's gender by the way you are carrying, or by the fetal heartbeat.

Myth. Other than ultrasound and amniocentesis (or chorionic villi sampling), there is no way to determine the gender of the baby you are carrying.

Babies are carried differently based on their presentation (breech, vertex, transverse), their position (anterior, posterior), their gestational age and weight, maternal weight and stature and the mother's parity (whether or not this is her first or eighth baby).

Fetal heartbeat is really no help either. Heart tones may be heard as early as eight to ten weeks using Doppler technology. Until about 20 weeks, it is not unusual to have a fetal heartbeat in the 150 to 160 range. As the baby's heart develops and the neurological system matures, the count may fall to between 130 to 140. The normal range is 120 to 160. Some say that a fast heart rate is a girl, based on the fact that women's heart rates are faster than men's. But if this were the case for an unborn baby, we would all start out as girls and turn into boys!

2. Sleeping on your back can hurt the baby.

Myth. Imagine awakening to find yourself on your back and believing that you have caused some harm to your unborn baby.

Many women believe that blood flow will be reduced through the placenta if they lie on their backs. The origin of this myth can be found in some valid research originally performed in the 1960s and 1970s, which demonstrated that blood flow can be compromised when a mother is forced to labor lying flat on her back. Compression of the vena cava, a major vessel underlying the uterus, may occur in this position when the mother is in labor. This is why women are encouraged to be on their sides, sitting up or walking when they are in labor. Contractions themselves reduce blood flow to the baby for a certain portion of the peak of the contraction. A healthy term baby can tolerate this stress without difficulty. Laboring on one's back may cause fetal compromise when the baby is already stressed, overdue or preterm, or exposed to infection or a very long labor.

As far as the possibility of compromising blood flow by sleeping on one's back, the mother-to-be in this situation would generally be experiencing inadequate oxygen tensions, and this would be considered a high-risk pregnancy. And, if blood flow was indeed compromised, the mother would feel dizzy and very uncomfortable and she would shift to her side naturally. This again would be highly unusual.

If the pregnancy is high risk and hypertension, maternal kidney malfunction, severe water retention or fetal compromise is suspected, resting on the left side is often recommended, but, during a normal pregnancy, a woman may assume any position which she finds comfortable.

3. You can tangle the umbilical cord by raising your arms above your head.

Myth. About 20 to 25 percent of all babies are born with the cord around the neck, and many are born with cords around legs. Some cords are even tied into knots. There is nothing that a mother can do to cause this. Entanglements are caused by fetal activity during early gestation. Long umbilical cords, defined as longer than about 100 cm (most cords are 32 to 80 cm long), seem to contribute to entanglements. Excessively long cords are actually caused by excessive fetal movement.

In the case of this myth, there may have been some benefit for a pregnant mother. If pregnant women were advised not to lift their arms above their bodies, they may have been given less strenuous jobs. This could have resulted in a more rested mom, and possibly a healthier baby.

4. Having sex during pregnancy can hurt the baby.

Myth. While there are some valid medical reasons to avoid sexual activity during pregnancy, in most cases sex is not harmful to the baby and can be very enjoyable for the woman, who may now be noticing enhanced ability to orgasm due to an increase in blood flow to the pelvic floor.

5. You lose a tooth for every baby.

Myth. Today, we know more about good nutrition and its impact on a healthy pregnancy and baby. A balanced diet in combination with appropriate intake of supplements and fortified foods means that no woman should lose any teeth. Ever!

Preconception nutrition is critical for preserving maternal health. It is during the critical preadolescent and adolescent years that women build stores of iron and calcium that prepare them for childbearing. If a woman's diet is deficient in these key minerals, the demands of the growing baby often take precedence. Women should take in 1500 mg of calcium each day, either from food sources or supplements.

Recent evidence suggests that neglecting oral hygiene and dental care can have consequences in pregnancy. Women with poor dental health are at significantly higher risk of preterm labor. While calcium is not lost from the teeth during pregnancy, bone loss can occur if maternal intake of calcium is inadequate.*

6. Don't begin any exercise that you are not already doing prior to pregnancy.

Myth. Like most myths, this one has some basis in fact. It is meant to protect the newly pregnant woman from injury. Pregnancy does more to a woman's physiology than change her center of gravity. From the earliest days, hormones are adapting the ligaments and muscles to become more flexible and to expand. This makes them a bit more prone to injury.

It's important to start a pregnancy exercise program carefully and seek the advice of your care provider. Pregnancy and labor represent some of the most difficult and rewarding work a woman will ever do. It makes sense to prepare oneself physically. If you haven't been participating in a regular program of exercise, walking is a good place to start. Begin with a five-minute warmup with slow gradual stretching of all muscles. Find a nice path and some walking buddies or some good music and walk at a brisk pace for 30 to 40 minutes every day. Finish with five minutes of a slower pace or stretching, which should help you "cool down." Or, consider joining a prenatal exercise or yoga class and build it into a support group and even future playgroup. So ignore the myth about not starting a program and begin working out when you are planning a pregnancy or even if pregnancy is already advanced.

Very few women should not exercise in pregnancy, but always consult your care provider prior to starting any regimen.

7. Giving birth: It's better to cut than tear.

Myth. This myth refers to the use of episiotomy at the time of birth. The term "tearing" conjures up images that most women would rather not consider. Actually, tears often are small and do not extend into the muscle. When an episiotomy is cut, several layers of tissue and muscle are cut. Tears also tend to heal more comfortably than episiotomies. This may be because the skin has separated down anatomical lines and the tissue has not been crushed, as it is when scissors are used.

To prevent lacerations, it is important to listen to the midwife or doctor carefully and to give small controlled pushes. Occasionally, the mother may be asked to push between contractions so the force of the contraction does not cause her to push with such force.

If the baby shows signs of distress, or if the midwife or doctor believes that a tear into the deep muscle or into the rectum is inevitable, an episiotomy will generally be cut. But research has demonstrated that the highest incidence of rectal sphincter and rectal lacerations occurs when an episiotomy has been cut.

Many variables go into the decision whether or not to cut an episiotomy and how to support the perineum at the time of birth. The best advice is to choose a care provider or a type of care provider who will work with you, listen to you, and minimize the use of routine procedures in their practice.

DALLAS: ABANDONED BABY'S MOM SOUGHT

NORTHWEST DALLAS, December 20) -- The search continues for the mother of an infant abandoned at a Dallas apartment complex in the 3200 block of Sumpter Drive. Firefighters took the baby to Children's Medical Center on Sunday. Doctors told police that he was only hours old and could not have survived much longer in his condition. Soon, more signs will be put up at fire stations and hospitals reminding people about the state's Baby Moses law. Dallas Fire-Rescue Lt. Joel Lavender explained the law, ""What it says is a child up to 60 days old can be dropped off at a local fire station or hospital without charge or repercussion to the parent." Police say the mother could now face felony charges.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Blonds aren't all that stupid..

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Louisiana arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...

"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
Moral -
Not all Cajun gals are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

R U A Tex'un?

1. You can properly prounounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Burnet, Boerne, Mexia, Waco, Amarillo, and Waxahachie.
2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
3. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
6. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You measure distance in minutes.
8. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
15. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Ford F350 4X4 is.
17. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressin'.
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to myultiply.
19. You actually understand this and you are "fixin' to send it to your friends.
20. Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:

"You wanna coke?"

"Yeah."

"What kind?"

"Dr. Pepper!"

Last Week to Mail Packages

Today is the busiest mailing day of the year, according to our friends at the postal service. Here are some tips to help us ensure that our cards and packages make it to their destinations on time, and in good shape.

1.Know your deadlines: If you wait until the last minute, there are express options that are offered by the major delivery companies. Fedex and UPS have set a cutoff date of the 22nd for gifts to arrive on the 23rd, and the USPS offers express mail as late as the December 23 for arrival on the 24th. Of course these services come at a premium. If you are buying online, cutoff dates can differ from store to store.

2.Pack correctly: When sending gifts in the mail, the last thing you want to happen is for them to get lost or broken. Making sure your gifts are packed the right way will help prevent this from happening. The USPS, Fedex and UPS all recommend that new boxes are used when shipping. If you need to use an old box, make sure that it is durable and that any old labels are removed from the box. "If you don't remove old labels from your boxes, who knows where it will end up?" says Fedex spokeswoman Lourdes Pena. Having the right cushion and wrapping is also a must. Bubble wrap and Styrofoam peanuts are recommended by all the shippers. If you are packing multiple items in a box, leave two inches of padding in between each item. Monica Suraci, a spokesperson for the U.S. Postal Service, stresses the importance of having a return address on the box and inside the package. "Put your return address on an index card inside the box, so items inside can be returned if the box is damaged," she says. According to Diana Hatcher, a spokesperson for UPS, if you are sending items that are assembled, take them apart for shipping. "Lots of people just wrap picture frames and send it. You want to take the frame apart and wrap each part individually," she adds.Using the right tape is also a must. Any old tape around the house won't cut it. "Duct tape will peel off of a box very easily," says Hatcher. It's best to use packaging tape that is made for shipping and cardboard. For more tips on packing go to www.ups.com.

3.Insurance for gifts: If there is always the thought in the back of your head of that your package will get damaged or lost, insure the value of gifts when you send them. The U.S. postal service offers different rates for insurance up to $500. Rates are available at the post office and on www.usps.com. Fedex will guarantee $100 on the item included in the shipping fee. They charge an additional $2.50 for every $100 of protection that you purchase. Fedex deals with high-end items on a case by case basis. The company recommends customers call 1-800-GO-FEDEX. UPS will also include $100 of protection with its shipping fees. It will cost you an additional $1.20 to insure your package up to $300 after that. It's an additional 40 cents for every $100 after that. UPS will insure a package for up to $70,000.

4.Sending special items: If you are sending an item that you are worried about shipping, it's best to take extra precautions when packing and sending the gift. Gifts that can break easy should be well cushioned and wrapped with twice the amount you would normally use. If you are mailing perishable items, it's best to send them overnight and make sure that someone is there to receive them. All food should be wrapped up and sealed individually. If you are sending high-end items, like a diamond necklace or an expensive gold watch, deception might be your best bet. "The best precaution you can take is to not make it look like a jewelry," says Hatcher. With all special gifts, it's best to take the gift to the post office or a shipping location and have them pack it for you. The most important specialty package that you send this year might be sent by your child.

Holiday Clean Sweep

With all of the dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, scrubbing you do before company arrives, while company is there, and after they leave; this time of year can feel more like it tis' the season to be cleaning. Jennifer Humes, the Clutter Queen, says there is no reason to spend hours cleaning for the holiday. She has a list of quick and easy speed cleaning techniques that will have your home looking great in no time. Below are a few of the Clutter Queen's simple solutions:

1.Tote & Go - Keep a cleaning bucket, like the Casabella Bucket & Caddy, full of your favorite & most used cleaning supplies. Aroma therapeutic household cleaners such as Caldrea and Mrs. Meyers not only smell good but are stylish, so you won't mind using them in front of company.

2.Wipe it up - No need to tote around a roll of paper towels, a sponge and cleaner. There are a myriad of cleaning wipes in small packets on the market. Keep a packet near by or even in your pocket. When you see a mess or small spill just wipe it up, toss it in the trash and get back to the celebration. (Side tip: Keep a couple of supplies, like the wipes, in each bathroom area. Assign a family member to clean each bathroom.)

3.Make Marks Disappear - Have crayon marks on the walls, scuffs on the floor? Don't waste hours scrubbing; there are now great products like Mr. Clean Magic Eraser that literally erase wall scuffs in a matter of minutes.

4.Dusting Dilemma - There's no need to carry around dusting spray or cleaner and a rag. There are products like the Casabella Mini Duster and Swiffer Dusters that will cut down on both the amount of time and mess you can make clearing all the dust away.

5.Carpet Care - A party is not the time to lug out that big old vacuum. Instead, the Clutter Queen suggests keeping a small sweeper tucked away that you can quickly access to give the carpet a quick once over before guests arrive and clean up any small accidents.

6.Help on the Spot - If there is red wine or even hot cocoa, your carpets could be at risk. Keep a portable spot cleaner like the Bissell SpotBot on hand. You simply add the solution, turn it on and when you return in six minutes the stain is gone. For spills on bare floors there are easy to use wet vacs like the Hoover Floor Mate.

7.Clear the Counters - Overwhelmed by your cluttered counters and surfaces around the home? Grab some stylish, portable totes like the jute bins from Lillian Vernon. Load them up and stash it away. You can sort though it after the company is gone.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Ashlee Simpson Collapses

ET has learned that ASHLEE SIMPSON collapsed Thursday after a performance in Tokyo in support of her new album, I Am Me. According to the 21-year-old singer's publicist, she was taken to a hospital and early reports indicate her illness is due to exhaustion. At this time, Simpson is still hospitalized and has cancelled her upcoming appearance at the Radio Music Awards being held Monday night in Las Vegas.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Romantic Gifts for the Holiday

The holiday season can be a passionate time of year. Sure, there are plenty of social obligations to meet and familial duties to perform, but who says you can’t slip out of the office party early, or skip the holiday brunch entirely? I'll offer a few ideas for your cozy interpersonal gift exchange, ‘cause baby, it’s cold outside.

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The FTD Sweeter Than Sugar Flower Bouquet
At FTD.COM
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
$69.99
Mix it Up
We all know that a dozen red roses are the go-to bouquet for silently speaking the language of love, but there's something more rare, more undeniably eloquent about expressing yourself with this exotic concoction. Presented in a beautiful glass vase, the gathering of pink Stargazer lilies, asters, verdant greenery and yes — red roses, will show her you love her more than words can say.

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10k White Gold Initial Diamond Accent Pendant
At Kohl's
$39.99
Letter Perfect
The evolution of our romantic calligraphy most likely proceeded from carving initials into trees and scrawling names on notebooks to the more civilized expression of engraved silver and monogrammed towels. Take a further step up the ladder and make a sparkling initial impression. This pendant teaches a sublime alphabet lesson in 10-karat white gold with diamond accents. Whether you choose to gift her with your initial or her own, she’ll be proud to sport the letter of love.

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Josie Natori Sleepwear Key chemise
At Figleaves
$160.00
Got Silk?
I’ve always favored the chemise for sleeping — it’s the perfect fusion of pretty and practical. Here's a beautiful example in fine silk and flirty lace appliqué. It falls to mid-thigh and flows across the body like liquid flattery. Slender adjustable spaghetti straps, flattering empire waist, and an alluring low back add up to a look that’s part Victorian underpinning, part modern siren. Actually, it’s way too pretty to hide under the sheets.

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14K Two Tone Gold Charm Bracelet
At Diamond.com
FREE SHIPPING & 30-Day Returns
$399.00 Sale $119.00
Turn On The Charm
Charm bracelets are as popular now as in their 1940's heyday, and love never quite went out of style, so why not bring the two together in one shining combo? This one mixes precious metals with superbly symbolic style: a 14k white-gold double rolo link chain suspends a yellow-gold heart inscribed with the simple yet profound: "love". Two more gold charms sport those all-important three little words and really bring the message home.

Men and Women

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his
father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three
kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are
like melons, round and firm.

In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still
nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like
onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,

"Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man
goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is
like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties,
it is a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

Friday, December 16, 2005

What You Need to Know When Buying a Diamond

Whether it's an engagement, an anniversary or a gift for the holidays, buying a diamond doesn't have to be as expensive or as intimidating as it seems. Sally Morrison, diamond expert and director of the Diamond Information Center, will be here to give us some diamond-buying tips. Did you know that:

...more than 31% of diamond sales occur during the holidays?
64% percent of women expect to receive diamonds as an anniversary present, but only 6% actually receive them?
...retail sales of diamond jewelry increased by 8.2% in the U.S. in 2004?
December is a great time to do your diamond shopping. There is such a wealth of styles and designs to choose from, not to mention the perfect time to pop the question with December being the most popular month to get engaged.
Diamond-buying tips:

The Diamond Right Hand Ring is the still the most popular trend in diamond jewelry as it is all about a woman expressing her true eternal spirit and individual style.
Whether celebrating any anniversary or trying to find the perfect gift for the holidays, Three-Stone Diamond Jewelry is the ideal way to tell that special someone, "I Forever Do" this holiday season.
Diamond Classics like a pair of diamond stud earrings, solitaire necklace or line bracelet is the perfect gift this holiday season and a welcome addition to any woman's jewelry wardrobe.
How to choose a diamond: remember the four Cs-cut, color, clarity and carat
More information about diamonds can be found at www.adiamondisforever.com.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Letter from God!

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter.
She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope again. There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address.
She read the letter:
Dear Ruth:
I`m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit.

Love Always,
Jesus

Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. "Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer." With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets."Oh my goodness, I really don't have anything to offer. I'll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner." She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents.

Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least." She threw on her coat and hurried out the door. A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk...leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until
Monday. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm.

"Hey lady, can you help us,lady?"
Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags. "Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady, we'd really appreciate it.

Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.
"Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him."

"Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway." The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley. As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart.

"Sir, wait!"
The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them. "Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve my guest." She handed the man her grocery bag. "Thank you lady. Thank you very much!"

"Yes, thank you!" It was the man's wife, and Ruth could see now that she
was shivering.
"You know, I've got another coat at home.
Here, why don't you take this one."
Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders.
Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street...without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest.
"Thank you lady!
Thank you very much!"

Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox.

"That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice in one day."

Dear Ruth:
It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.

Love Always,
Jesus

The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.

Quick Quiz

1 Which one of the following describes the perfect date?

a) Candlelight dinner! (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2 What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3 What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4 Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could
choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt.)

5 What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6 Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7 What do you prefer to eat right now?

a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8 What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9 If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts.)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt.)
d) Hawaii (4 pts.)
e) Hollywood (3 pts.)

10 With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting
for! Put your character in the subject line and
forward to your friends and back to the person that sent this to you.
Very interesting to see "who" your friends are!

STRONG(10-16 points) You are Garfield: You are very comfortable, easy
going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take
it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are

always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do,
but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try
to remember your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17-23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and
popular you always know what's in and you never are out of style. You

are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else.
You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you
always come home with the family values that you learned. Being
married and having children are important to you, but only after you
have had your share of fun times.

(24-28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also
popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need.
You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things.
Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will
have many conflicts with life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants:
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best
friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose. You never
cause harm to anyone and they would never understand your feelings.
Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away
from traitors and jealous people, and then you will be stress free.

(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love
and when you do, you fall hard, you tend to fall quickly, but you are
also very serious about all relationships. You are a
family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends
and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays (not intentionally). Don't
let your passion get in the way of reality. You are definitely an
achiever.

(44-50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart and definitely a
thinker...Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant
mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles.
Maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it
comes.

Memo from Santa

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
serve Georgia, Florida, West Virginia, Virginia, North and South
Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Ohio, Louisiana or Alabama
on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract
was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As
part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for
milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that
your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who
happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family
is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all
the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences
between us.

Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from
Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children
leave RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba
doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can
handy

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my
reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..."
when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti,
on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are
likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does
have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as"Miracle on 34th
Street" And It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated
viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and
the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state
patrol cars crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure
you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put
presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa

The Pickle and The Cucumber

A pickle and a cucumber are arguing about who has the worst life.

The cucumber says…

“ I have the worst life because when I get big and hard people cut me up put me in salads and eat me.”

The pickle interrupts….

“ No, No, No, I have a much harder life. When I get big en hard people stick me in a jar of water then they slice me up or just bite right into me.”

While this is going on a dick walks by

The dick over hears the discussion and says…

“Please, you too have it so easy whenever I get big and hard people shove me in a rubber bag and make me do push-ups until I throw up!”

3 big reasons couples fight about money

Arguments about money are often really struggles for power. Managing these issues can smooth out the bickering.

Like many married women, Anna, Beth, Stephanie and I have all fought with our spouses about money.Big loud fights, small seething fights, ongoing tense "discussions" . . . pick your favorite form of financial conflict, and we've been there, done that. Recently.You'd think that, with more than a year of experience in the Women in Red, we'd be so financially enlightened that silly money squabbles would be a thing of the past.Nope. But the good news is, we've learned that it's possible to find true and lasting financial harmony with your mate the same way you achieve financial success in any other area of your life:

1.It takes time.
2.You must be patient.
3.Throwing things is bad.

You have to negotiate the power dynamic.Did someone just say power? Yes.When couples come into conflict over money, underneath the bickering over the Visa bill is a swarm of issues that are ultimately about power and control. In order to get in synch financially, you can't deal with money alone: Learning to navigate your own special, sometimes uncomfortable power dynamic is key.

To read more about this subjuct Click Here

Kitchen Gadgets as Gifts

Holidays are upon us and that means we will be spending more time in the kitchen. That time doesn't have to be boring if you are armed with some of these cool gadgets Andrea Ridout of Ask Andrea has found. Lots of these also make great gift ideas.

StirChef: a cordless, hands-free, saucepan stirrer. Attach it to most saucepans and it stirs from the bottom. Keeps even ultra-thick mixtures moving, so they won't burn while you're busy. Price: $10 (SmartBargains.com sales price down from $39.99).Website: SmartBargains.com

Chocolate Fountain: Fountain first melts chocolate then cycles it continuously through the structure for a waterfall effect. The heated reservoir holds 5 lbs. of chocolate. Dishwasher safe parts. By: Rival, price: $60. Website: Kohls.com

Egg & Muffin Toaster: No need to hit the drive-thru, now you can make your own breakfast sandwiches in minutes. The Egg & Muffin Toaster can be used as a toaster or separately to steam cook a poached egg or together to create the ultimate breakfast sandwich. Simply add the desired sandwich ingredients and push the start button. In only four minutes, an Egg & Muffin sandwich is ready to enjoy. Price: $50. Website: EggAndMuffinToaster.com

Soda-Club: No need to buy soda at the store anymore. Now you can make it at home in less time than it take to brew a cup of coffee. Soda-Club brews a liter of soda in about 30 seconds and includes a choice of 25 flavors, from classic Cola to Fizzy Blue; diet sodas can be sweetened with Splenda. It's also great for brewing teas, juices and energy drinks. Price: $129. Website: SodaClub.com

Magic Bullet Personal Blender: The Magic Bullet is a new style of blender. Capable of preparing hundreds of recipes in ten seconds or less. Great for busy families, moms on the go, bachelors with limited kitchen expertise and new mothers that want to prepare healthy baby food with no preservatives. The secret to its time-saving efficiency is the specially designed blade and unique bullet-shaped design that automatically circulates food back into the cyclonic cutting zone. By: Homeland Housewares. Price: $60. Website: BuyTheBullet.com

TriniTEA: Say goodbye to kettles, teapots and oversteeped cups. The TriniTEA does it all - boils water, steeps leaves, and keeps tea warm so you can enjoy it all day long. A variable timer lets you control the length of an infusion, ensuring a perfect cup each time. Price: $75. Website: Adagio.com

Zack & Dani's Gourmet Roaster Starter Kit: By: Zack & Dani's. Price: $149. Website: CoffeeRoasting.com

Keurig B50: An all-new at-home single-cup brewing system. Allows consumers to consistently brew a perfect cup of coffee or tea in under a minute. Price: $129. Website: Keurig.com or various retailers

MKS Knife: Unique looking knife, Limited Edition Sports Knife. Has sparkling metallic handle grip that is cool but still delivers the precision of world-class, kitchen cutlery. Made from 440-C stainless steel, they're crafted and balanced in the French and Japanese traditions. By: MKS Designs. Price: $85. Website: MKSDesign.com

Gel Pro Chef's Mats: Designed for use in residential kitchens, these floor mats feature stylish synthetic leather covers, non-slip bottom fabric and anti-microbial additives to prevent mold and mildew. The gel mats place a layer of comfort between you and your hard kitchen flooring allowing home cooks to enjoy the time they spend in the kitchen. By: Let's Gel. Price: $100. Website: LetsGel.com

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffe Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity..

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Old people's games!

A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the Pillows when the old man farts and says, "seven points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie
Score."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha.
I'm ahead 14 to 7
Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says,
"Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
"Field Goal,I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a
woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a
defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got,
and accidently he poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the heck was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

Can we say WOW!

One day, a man went to visit a church..
He got there early, parked his car, and got out.
Another car pulled up and the driver got out and said,"I always park there!
You took my place!" The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down.
A young lady from the church approached him and stated,
"That's my seat! You took my place!"
The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing.
After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down.
Another member walked up to him and said,
"That's where I always sit! You took my place!"
The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still He said nothing.
Later as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them,
the visitor stood up, and his appearance began to change.
Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet.
Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?"
The visitor replied, as his hat became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, "I took your place."

Joke

A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

"Tomorrow," his wife angrily told him, "there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!"

The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it .... and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for her husband have been set for Saturday ...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Things that you can say ONLY at Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

Now this is actually why women should be in charge.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...2 men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.

Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. "Kill her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming,
crashing,banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. ""I had to beat him to death with the chair."

The Leader" by "Anonymous"

"Patient and steady with all he must bear,

Ready to accept every challenge with care,

Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,

Strong in his faith, refreshingly real,

Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,

Doesn't conform to the usual mold,

Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight wont do,

Never back down when he sees what is true,

Tells it all straight, and means it all too,

Going forward and knowing he's right,

Even when doubted for why he would fight,

Over and over he makes his case clear,

Reaching to touch the ones who won't hear,

Growing in strength, he won't be unnerved,

Ever assuring he'll stand by his word,

Wanting the world to join his firm stand,

Bracing for war, but praying for peace,

Using his power so evil will cease:

So much a leader and worthy of trust,

Here stands a man who will do what he must."


Pretty cool first letter of every line spells out President George W Bush

Is Kevin Federline in danger of being drummed out of the lifestyle to which he's so easily become accustomed? Rumors are a-bubbling that the work-allergic, nightlife-loving, he-capri-sporting wannabe rapper is in the doghouse with his meal ticket missus, Britney Spears.

It seems on Wednesday, Britney ordered her hubby out of their deluxe Malibu digs after a "blazing row," reports the New York Daily News. Federline was apparently forced to rough it at the tony Beverly Hills Hotel.

According to the Star, the clash was sparked after a pal of K. Fed's with an apparent fondness for herbal refreshment (and we're not referring to chamomile tea) showed up at their mansion.

"... Britney turned around and fired two of her longtime security guards for letting what she called 'the weedman' into the house," a mole tells the mag. "She just seemed crazy with anger."

The Daily News reports that just hours after allegedly giving Federline the heave-ho, the semi-retired pop starlet burned off steam by shaking her groove thing with some girlfriends at L.A. hotspot LAX, where she mingled with the ubiquitous Johnny Knoxville and quaffed Red Bull and Grey Goose.

"She was laughing and carrying on like she didn't have a care in the world," an insider recalls to the Star.

To read more about this story Click Here!!

How to Save on Home Energy Bills

Andrea Ridout, home improvement expert and host of the nationally syndicated radio show "Ask Andrea", has quick tips to protect your property and potentially save you on heating costs. Last month, the federal government said it predicts home heating bills will increase an average of nearly 50%.

Seal leaks around doors and windows.
Add or replace worn weather-stripping around doors and windows.
Caulk gaps where necessary.
Replace worn door stops at the bottom of doors.
If you have them, install storm doors and windows.
Replace old windows with energy efficient windows.
Seal other leaks - don't stop at the windows...
Use caulking and weather-stripping around entry points for all pipes and ducts that travel through an exterior wall.
Install insulating kits behind electrical plugs that are on a wall with an exterior.
Heating Reminders...
Vacuum the vents and other heating components.
If it has one, replace the furnace filter. Make future replacements as needed or directed by your furnace manufacturer.
Energy-saving tips:
Set thermostat to 68 degrees or lower during day and 55 degrees or lower at night or when leaving home for extended period.
Install a programmable thermostat.
Keep fireplace damper closed unless a fire is burning.
Unplug spare refrigerator in garage.
Do only full loads in clothes washer and dishwasher.
Wash clothes in cold water.
Clean clothes dryer's lint trap after each use.
Set water heater to "normal" or 120 degrees, unless dishwasher requires higher setting.
Wrap hot water tank with jacket insulation.
Purchase Energy Star appliances and electronics.
For more information go to AskAndrea.com.

Monday, December 05, 2005

High-Tech, Low-Budget Gifts

Brian Cooley, Editor-at-Large of CNET, knows just what the Techno-Geek in your life wants! These are a few on his list of favorite top tech gadgets - all under $100 too.

iHome I5 iPod Clock Radio ($95-$99) - Fall asleep and wake up to music you've loaded into your iPod.
Aiptek 4500 ($99) - Pocket camcorder/camera/MP3 player. Three gadgets in one for a terrific price!
Mobiblu DAH-1500i ($99) - This cute MP3 player is just a 1-inch cube - the size of four sugar cubes - and is compatible with both Windows and Mac operating systems. Just plug and play, and it comes in six colors.
SanDisk Cruzer Titanium ($45-70) - This USB flash drive delivers a trinity of useful utilities in an extremely durable form.
Plantronics Bluetooth Headset ($49)
Motorola Wireless Speaker Phone ($99)
Canon Powershot a520 ($164)
Wi-Fi Network Detector ($65)

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Top Holiday events that are a must in Dallas!

Christmas Celebration
Thursday, 12/8 at Meyerson Symphony Center
The Dallas Symphony Orchestra and friends play holiday favorites.

Holiday at the Arboretum
Sunday, 12/4 at Citysearch Profile with website Dallas Arboretum & Botanical Gardens
Dallas Arboretum celebrates the holidays with a Christmas tree maze and 300 nativity scenes.

A Christmas Carol
Sunday, 12/4 at Dallas Theater Center
No Christmas--past, present or future--would be complete without Dickens' touching morality tale.

Pop the Question

Marriage on your mind? If so, here are a plethora of proposal ideas you can customize to surprise your intended.

Some are pretty good!! Click here to see them!

Guide to Making Fudge

How-To Steps

Take a look at these tips for making homemade fudge.

Yummy!!!!!

Winter Survival Tips for Your Car

Long winter months put extra strain on vehicle systems. Here are items to inspect and service.

Are you eyeing your car with more scrutiny these days? Hoping it's in good enough shape to get you through the winter?

You'll need to do more than merely hope, of course. Now is a good time to review critical items that may need servicing to endure the cold-weather season.

"Breakdowns are most often preventable by simply ensuring that your vehicle is regularly maintained," said Robert Kaczor, assistant vice president of AAA automotive services. "The state of health and durability of things like batteries, fluid levels and tire conditions all come into question especially during the winter season when extremely cold temperatures can put even the most reliable devices to the test."

Batteries Get Zapped by Cold
Cold weather is hard on batteries; therefore, checking your car's battery should be at the top of any winterizing to-do list.

Look at the connections and make sure they're tight and corrosion-free and cables aren't loose.

A qualified technician should determine the condition of the battery via a load test. Some mechanics recommend replacing a battery with less than a year left on its warranty regardless of how it scores on a load test. These pros point out that a battery loses almost a third of its starting cranking power at freezing, which is 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

Get Fluids Up to Snuff
The Specialty Equipment Market Association, which is made up of companies that sell a variety of automotive parts, advises you get a thorough check of your vehicle's vital fluids and filters as well as hoses, belts and tires.

"At the very least," SEMA says, "a change of season should automatically tip you off to have the oil and filter in your vehicle changed." While a car may well be due for an oil change, some cars also require a lighter weight, or lower viscosity, oil if driven in severe cold. If applicable, your owner's manual will have details.

Coolant level also should be checked. Make sure the mix between antifreeze and water is correct, usually 50/50. If the coolant level has remained at what is specified in the car's owner's manual, it's likely OK. But if water has been added from time to time, have the cooling system checked and, if necessary, flushed and refilled.

Visibility Is Critical
Don't overlook windshield-washer fluid. If it's low, top it off with a commercial no-freeze fluid from a local auto parts store.

In addition, auto experts advise checking to see how well the wipers work. Blades aren't expensive, and they're relatively easy to replace. If your blades are more than a year old and/or don't get the windshield completely clean—without streaks—in three swipes, it's time for new ones.

Inspect and keep clean and in good working order your car's headlights, taillights, fog lights, brake lights and defrosters, too. Don't forget to include your emergency flashers. "See and be seen" is a motto of the American Automobile Club—and for good reason.

Interior Items Count, Too
Check your vehicle's floor for any cracks or holes that could let in dangerous exhaust gases. All gases need to be vented to the outside and not allowed to come into your vehicle. Remember, deadly carbon monoxide gas is odorless, so don't ignore this issue.

Test your vehicle's heater to make sure it's in good working order, so you and your riders will be comfortable during winter drives.

Don't Forget Brakes, Belts, Hoses
Brake fluid and clutch fluid should be topped off, as should transmission fluid (assuming your vehicle doesn't have a sealed-for-life gearbox; check your owner's manual).

Push and pull on engine belts and squeeze hoses. These items tend to deteriorate over time, so regular checkups should help you spot trouble before it occurs.

The rule of thumb is that belts giving more than one inch under finger pressure might need adjustment. At any sign of cracking or fraying of either, have the offender replaced.

As for hoses, look for loose connections, unusual bulges, cracks, tears and holes.

Tires Change in the Cold
Tire pressure and tread depth affect traction in snow and rain.

According to Bill Egan, chief engineer of advanced tire technology for Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co., a tire inflated at 32 pounds per square inch (psi) on a warm 70-degree Fahrenheit day will register at an underinflated 26 psi in freezing weather.

Tire inflation is very important, since a properly inflated tire provides optimum traction and will last longer. Egan says a tire loses 10 percent of its expected tread life for every 10 percent it's underinflated.

This is not a once-a-winter check. Make a point to monitor your tire pressure about twice a month in the cold months. And don't forget to check your spare.

Egan also offers a cautionary note regarding studded tires. While they can offer traction improvements of up to 40 percent over conventional street tires on hard-packed snow and ice, they reduce traction on dry roads because the studs keep the tire from gripping the road.

Tread depth is critical to controlling a car at all times, especially in snow or heavy rain. A simple way to check tread depth requires only a penny. Insert a penny in between the tread blocks of your car's tire, making sure Abe Lincoln's head goes in first and is facing toward you; once the penny touches the bottom of the groove, note if you can see the top of Abe's head with the tire's surface at eye level. If the tread doesn't reach the top of Abe's head, too much has been worn off and the tire definitely needs to be replaced.

For valuable information about choosing winter tires, please read this article.

Tune-Up Time?
Check the owner's manual to see if a general tune-up is due—spark plugs, ignition coil, fuel-injection and other emission-control equipment, brake linings or pads and general lubrication.

Put at least one coat of wax on the exterior of your vehicle. Not only will it protect your paint in winter, it can help snow and ice slide off more easily.

Some auto experts advise spraying lubricants such as WD-40 or graphite in all door and trunk locks to keep them from freezing. These lubricants can be found at local auto parts stores.

For a more detailed list of tips on winterizing your car, go to the MSN Autos Winterizing Checklist.

Be Ready for Trouble
Be sure to stock your emergency kit and keep it inside your vehicle. The AAA suggests a kit should include flashlight, flares, first-aid kit, blanket, warm clothes, gloves, hat, paper towels, snow shovel, snow brush, ice scraper, washer fluid and extra food and water.

Finally, if you own a cell phone, remember to carry it with you.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Pork Tamales

Chuy's chef Mike Rypka has a recipe for a traditional Texas favorite at holiday time, Pork Tamales.

ABUELA'S TAMALES
This recipe will yield 35 - 40 tamales.

Make your Tamale Masa
Make your Tamale Filling
Make your Salsa Verde (or you can use store bought if you don't have time)
Tamale Masa:
6 cups Tamale Masa Pre-Mix
6 cups Roasted Pork Juice
1 1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper
2 1/4 tsp Chili Powder
1 tbsp Salt
2 1/4 tsp Black Pepper
1 1/2 cup Roasted Corn
3 tsp Baking Powder
9 oz Vegetable Shortening
Combine all ingredients and mix well by hand.
Tamale Filling:

5 lbs Roasted, Shredded Pork Butt
1 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1 tsp Chili Powder
1 1/2 tsp Salt
1 cup Diced Green Chiles
3/4 tsp Black Pepper
Combine all ingredients and mix well by hand.
Salsa Verde (Yields 1 Gallon of Salsa):

4 lbs Tomatillos
2 oz Serrano Peppers
3 lbs Diced Green Chiles
1 oz Fresh minced garlic
5 tbsp Salt
1 tbsp Sugar
1 tbsp Black Pepper
4 oz Cilantro
Boil the tomatillos until they are soft and pale in color. DO NOT LET THEM BURST OPEN. Remove tomatillos from water. Roast the Serrano Peppers. Place the boiled tomatillos, roasted Serrano Peppers and remaining ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth.
Tamale Assembly and Cooking:

Corn Husks - 1 per tamale
Tamale Masa - 1 scoop per tamale
Tamale Filling - 1 scoop per tamale
Line a perforated baking sheet with foil. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Soak the corn husks in cool water for at least 15 minutes. Place 1 heaping scoop of Tamale Masa on a corn husk and spread evenly, leaving 2-3 inches at the top of the husk without masa. Place 1 level scoop of Tamale Filling in the center of the husk, leaving 1 inch of space at the top and bottom of the Tamale Masa.
Roll the tamales and fold the top of the corn husk down, placing the tamales evenly on the foil-lined perforated baking sheet. Seal the tamales with the foil used to line the perforated baking sheet. Fill another baking sheet with 1/2" water, and place the perforated baking sheet in the water. Cover both baking sheets with foil. Cook in the oven for 1 1/2 hours. Serve with Salsa Verde.

"That's What I Want!"

Aileen Avery, host of HGTV's hit show, "I Want That!", has some ideas for unique and quick gifts for anyone.

Shout! The Great American Baseball Box
Shaped like a baseball base. Inside: an historic boxed set of more than 4 hours of famous on-andoff-the-field recordings from the last 80 years of baseball, including great plays, farewell speeches, press conference excerpts, and much more.
Fans can listen to interviews with their favorite players and coaches and hear renowned broadcasters making legendary calls. Also features great songs about the game from such luminaries as John Fogerty, Bob Dylan, Nat King Cole etc. Also includes 60-page full color booklet showcasing the best of baseball history in art and letters.

$59.99 at Best Buy, Costco, Barnes & Noble, Tower Record or on-line.


GiftScriptions
A unique new way to give magazine gift subscriptions, in it's own giftbox.
Under $20 at many locations including Borders, Barnes & Noble, Best Buy, WalMart and on-line.


Robert Rothschild Farm Gourmet Foods
A selection of gift ideas from premium gourmet foods catalogue/web site.
Be Merry Hostess Gift Set - $15.95
Celebrate in Style Gift Set - $24.95
Available at most specialty foods stores and on-line at RothschildFarm.com.


Playmate Toys Kinder Garden Babies
A new look on old fashioned baby dolls. Under $20 at virtually all toy stores and on-line.

Sonicare Intelliclean System
New state of the art electric toothbrush with beeping timer to signal how long to brush, and built in automatictoothpaste dispenser.
$149.99 avail at all major discount chain stores (such as Best Buy) and drugstore chains and on-line at Flight001.com.


Brewstation Deluxe
A unique alternative to traditional coffeemaking. No carafe, no hotplate, no spills. Makes up to 12 cups, stores inside unite and dispenses one cup at a time (almost like a self-serve soda fountain).
$124.99 - available at most discount chain stores and kitchen shops, and Millstone gourmet coffees - available at local supermarkets $6.99 - $8.99.

The 7 Love Agreements

Douglas Weiss Ph.D., therapist and author, has written The 7 Love Agreements, with the premise that one partner can change the marriage. The 7 agreements are: Faithfulness, Patience, Forgiveness, Service, Respect, Kindness and Celebration. The idea is that aiming at higher standards opens us up to improvement. It also can help avoid traditional conflicts and can change the way spouses interact. Dr. Weiss says usually both spouses not equally motivated to change, but one can be a catalyst to change.